First Step

From: Your Money or Your Life: Transforming Your Relationship with Money and Achieving Financial Independence, by Joe Dominguez and Vicki Robin

“Conditions have changed, but we are still operating financially by the rules established during the Industrial Revolution – rules based on creating more material possessions. But our high standard of living has not led to a high quality of life – for us or for the planet.”

I’m changing my thoughts about money, spending, the “American dream,” my priorities, and what it means to work and live. Life’s too short to mess around. I’m not meant to do the 8-5 thing; no one is. I’ve told myself this time and time again, but I keep repeating old ways of thinking. I’m convinced that neither I nor you have to slave away to enjoy life, to get what we want. Sitting in an office for 8 hours is no way to live. It’s not the way I want to live, and I don’t believe God put me here to do so.

I don’t know what’s going to happen, but I do know that I have a lot of learning and research to do. It’s time to prepare for something greater. It’s time to really live!

Personal Update

I realize I have not written much personal stuff lately. All of those thoughts are written in my journal. I've written more since May than I did all last year! It's amazing what a shift in life will do to a person. I'm glad the thoughts have been recorded somewhere because it's been a roller coaster ride. I thought it'd be nice to capture some of what I've been up to on Ophelia Blooming. Just in case anyone is curious :)

At the end of May I moved to San Antonio to live with a family friend and look for jobs. San Angelo, my home town, is a small town with little job opportunities, so I jumped at the chance to move to a bigger city where I felt like luck might be on my side.

Wrong!

It's almost September and I still don't have a steady job. I have one temp job I work 2 or 3 times a month and just started another temp assignment yesterday. I'm thankful for these opportunities because they provide a little extra cash, but I have definitely seen my bank account dwindle. It's the scariest thing in the world. I've been on countless interviews (more than 10), but with every promising interview comes another door in the face. At one point, I even had a chance at a dream job - A&E feature writer for the Temple Daily Telegram. I went to the interview and the editor seemed impressed with my skills. She showed me around the newsroom, introduced me to everyone, and it seemed like I had the job in the bag. Just one problem. When the salary issue came up they were not willing to pay me enough to live on my own. I explained I was single and had to support myself and relocate, but it didn't matter. I drove back to San Antonio sad, but also a little relieved. Temple, TX is not the most impressive place to live.

A gazillion interviews later, I'm really starting to feel the frustration of the whole situation. Up until now I've remained relatively calm and optimistic, but last week I cried and cried and cried and felt like I had reached the point of insanity. On Friday I planned to stay in bed, but luckily, my dear friend in Austin invited me to stay the weekend with her and I had a blast. It was a breath of fresh air.

I feel better this week. I went on an interview Monday, worked my temp assignment yesterday, go on a third round interview tomorrow, and also get to work my temp assignment again the rest of the week. It gives me some sense of security, but I know that I'm not guaranteed anything. It's especially heart breaking when you go on three rounds of interviews, do everything perfectly, and still get the door shut in your face.

Aside from job hunting, I have been living my life as normal - but without the luxuries I could afford when I had a job. These include things like: salon visits, shopping sprees, eating out, ballet classes (keep fit at home with yoga and NYCB workout videos), books (learned to use the library), etc. What I've learned from this is that possessions don't own my joy. Yes, I'd L-O-V-E to get my hair done, but I can be content and happy with how it is, knowing that someday I'll be able to afford it again.

What I'm mucho thankful for: family, friends, support, love, and the simple things in life.

Oh, how the times do change...

I've been thinking today about all the things I love *now* that I hated when I was a teenager. So this is 17 versus 25.

Lace - Lace was too girly. I was never a tomboy, but to immerse myself in something so feminine was an outrage. Lately I have been loving little, white lacy camis.

Flowers - Mostly of the decor nature. Especially bedspreads with flower patterns. I couldn't stand the thought. Now, of course, I own skirts and jewelry and art and...well, I just can't get enough!

Color - How can someone not like color? I didn't hate colorful things, but I prefered darker shades and black was my favorite. I still enjoy black because it goes with everything (makes creating outfits a breeze), but I love all sorts of colorful things even more. Especially pink. That was my least fave at 17.

Wet Seal - Wet Seal is a chain store located in most malls. The clothes are quite girly and full of sparkle and shine and trendiness. I remember walking into a Wet Seal years ago and wanting to vomit. "Not my taste," I told my friend. "Is there a Hot Topic around here?" Oh brother. Eight years later half my closet is filled with things from Wet Seal.

Ballet - WHAT?! I can't imagine a time when I didn't like ballet. But actually, I do remember the first ballet I went to. It was the local civic ballet company performing something holiday-ish (but not Nutcracker). I wore black combat boots and short skirt to the event. (Not so appropriate for a ballet.) I was less than impressed and did not have the desire to dance. It was only a year later that ballet became a passion.

The word "purse" - For some reason I've never been too comfortable with the word. I can say it now and not cringe, but the 17 year old me would've avoided it altogether. "Can you hand me my bag?" I would ask.

"Which one? The backpack, the purse, the makeup bag?"

"You know, the one...the one with all my stuff in it."

Kids - I'm not going to say I love kids and want to have some anytime soon, but there was a time when I made it clear to everyone that I was to never have children. I could hardly even pick one up without feeling weird. Then my step-sister's baby boy came into the picture. He was the cutest thing and well-behaved and I thought, maybe kids aren't so bad. Now I contemplate the idea of having children, which is a huge step up from a sworn babyless life.

Marriage - Nope, not for me at 17. Even at 18 and 19 I pledged to be an independent-I don't need a man-riotgrrl-kind of woman. Yeah, and then I met "the one" at age 20 and started flipping through Modern Bride.

Craft Stores - Countless hours of rummaging through Hobby Lobby or Michael's or some other craft heaven with my mother made me want to fall asleep. I could not comprehend why she loved it so much. Now I know :)

How have your interests changed?