I thought it might be good for me to say hello, as I have not thought of you or Ezra for quite some time. Other friends characters and stories have pushed their way through. It was inevitable, was it not? I don't feel bad about putting you in the backseat. I mean, you're still in the car, right? There are just other things that need to be taken care of before I can focus on you and Ezra. I think it's best that I take a break from Ezra anyway. I'm sure you agree, as you know how persistent he can be. And rude.
Anyhow, I still care dearly for you and will return to you again...someday. Who knows. Maybe this letter will find you in the most ambitious state and you'll climb over the car seats and ride shotgun again.
XoXo,
~Cassandra
Monday, September 22, 2008
You speak of midnight stars and music Soft, pink cardigans and delicate brooches Beauty as pure beauty No scissors to rip the ribbon But there's something underneath the rug Something you've swept away You've discarded this beauty Swollen, apple-red eyes Demons in the mirror Broken plastic wings And cigarettes Where is your tragedy It is the only beauty left When the world is a wave Above your heart
P.S. I started working on my novel today. I didn't get too far, of course, but I'm weeding through a lot of information. Organizing it in my head. People, places, times, dates. The important thing is I made a conscious effort to sit down and write something.
"I need to work on my poetry." "What about that other story I started?" "Maybe I need to research a bit more."
No. No. No. I'll do anything to avoid starting my novel, but this story has been on my mind for three years and I've read almost every book I could possibly read in the name of research. There's nothing left to do but write.
Many people say we make excuses and put off writing (or whatever our passion happens to be), not because we actually have more important things to do, but because we're scared. I'm not going to pretend that's not true, because it is! I *am* scared. I'm scared of the whole process and all the work and isolation it's going to involve. I'm scared nothing will even come out. All the beautiful images. The perfect movie in my head. It's not going to happen like that, but I have to remember:
~ It's okay to write crap. I will write and not edit. Just let everything flow out first, no matter how horrible, then go back and put the pieces together. ~ If When I finish this story, that doesn't mean my job is over. Prepare for years of rejection, tons of rewrites, lots of crying. ~ When I feel like giving up, don't! This story is meant to be. There's no time like the present to write my first book.
To anyone who is reading this, please hold me accountable to my words.
Like that Gwen Stefani song says, "Whatcha waiting for?"
~Update~
Just saw this quote from Ernest Hemingway. It's so appropriate for this post, and it made me laugh out loud :)
