john is my middle name.

welp, i stayed in my apartment all day today. for some reason, it has been insanely hot in my apartment. i cranked down the thermostat all the way, but it makes me wonder if i am still feverish. i sit here, naked, with fans blowing on me non-stop and still I AM WARM. i cannot breath in this insulated faux tropical climate. i must leave! but it is now nearly two in the morning.

i spent my day frumping because i received an email that they coudldn't pay me for hcl yet because the banking number i gave them was one number too long so tomorrow on my adventures out i will go to the bank and throw shoes at people until i get paid. this would be easier if they didn't live in toronto. 

when jen called me at about 830 i realized that i hadn't talked all day. i do this sometimes, sometimes i at least talk to myself but today, nope. i thought, it's not really so hard to not talk for a day, i should try a silence thing for a day or two, then a week, then a month, see where it goes. i'm really okay being totally anti-social as long as i am financially sound (which, at the moment, i am not).

i'm nearing the last hundred pages of my 800 plus page book on john lennon (the life) and i was saddened to find that the last ten years of the life were given only the final two hundred pages, the first hundred of which babble on and on about boring court rulings and royalty battles for pages and pages while the discussion of the recording of an album is basically two lines, something to the effect of 'they made a record, it had songs'. kind of a let down. i'm curious to see what the lost weekend has in store, harry nilsson, all that jazz. it just doesn't seem like there is enough room. i'm a little disappointed overall with the last half of the book. i've enjoyed it thus far, but blah to the last quarter.

another thing i just realized was in the phil spector biography 'tearing down the wall of sound' the relationship between spector and lennon is HUGE and discussed at great length, while this lennon book basically says he was a producer. doesn't go into it at all. totally disappointing. 

we are going to shoot the re-shoots and re-vision of the opening 1958 section of the film on wednesday. to be honest, i want this fucking thing off my computer so that i can have all my itunes and photos back (they are on a hard drive that i don't know how to access and if i did, it would take hours to transfer the stuff over, you can't just access it, as is my understanding, but i hate computers and do not know a fucking thing about them).

i suppose i'm down, despite the fact that jen and i had a great few days together on the weekend, uptown christmas party (a month late) was a blast and our sopranos marathon/cuddle fest was great on sunday. i have been too ill in the voice to do the radio show for three weeks now though and i am getting anxious. i feel better now (despite feeling feverish) and hope to do it this week. 

i wish i were financially stable. nothing fancy, just enough to live like this and eat chicken fingers, eggs, peanut butter and read books all day. it's really nice. a little lonely and un-rewarding, but nice all the same.